| the treachery of images |
[29 Dec 2006|01:09am] |
I met up with teresa, martha, and rachel at LACMA to check out the Magritte show titled "The Treachery of Images." if you have a chance, you must see it. I loooooved it. It was a comprehensive show, featuring an extensive collection of his work. Also featured in the show are contemporary artists whose works are influenced by Magritte. But you have to see the installation of the show. As a curator and one who installs shows, I really appreciate the effort put into this show. It was too much for me in one day so I intend to roll through one more time, this time, doing the audio tour.
Sorry for the momentary art geek talk. But shit was dope (did I redeem myself for cussing?)


After the show, and after soy chai lattes, I said goodbye to the girls and headed out to Chinatown for soulpeople's "Holiday Fresh"
Carlie hooked me up with this gig

Jason yap (Remy's on Temple Art Gallery), Sarah (roommate extraordinaire) and moi. Sarah helped lay color on the wood, preparing it for mark canto.


Apparently he is a recent graduate of the handsome boy modeling school


pylet7 came out to play too!


Ralph from Rime Magazine




Could never take good crowd pics with a point and shoot. I need to read the manual.
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| whoa... |
[20 Dec 2006|12:36pm] |
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i forgot i had this.
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| camel spiders |
[14 Sep 2006|02:15pm] |
my bosses took me and the other new guy in the department out for lunch.
so as we were chillin' at the cheesecake factory, we started talking about everything and anything. i mean, what is appropriate meal talks with your supervisors?
camel spiders
so doug brought up about these huge ass anthropods that live in regions like iraq. they are called camel spiders. they eat lizards. EAT THEM! not like spin a web and suck the blood, but chomp the heads off of them.

they shouldn't be called "camel spiders." they make them sounds like cute little spiders with humps. no they should be called "shit fuck shit fuck muthafuckin shit" spiders. that name is more appropriate.
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| so,i got the job... |
[18 Aug 2006|12:43pm] |
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entered maureen's office, greeted by two more supervisors, and they offered me the job.
so i am full time at the writers guild. which means, i am double-employed.
and the double income would allow me to:
[ ] have health insurance. now i can rough house as much as i want. that skateboard i tucked in the corner of my back room is now coming out. (last time i rode it, i fell on my side and hurt my wrist. i had no insurance so i had to risk healing an broken wrist.) and i can finally get a full physical since i am training!
[ ] continue shopping for a car. although i am not too crazy on payments. but i should be okay. i paid a credit card off and i am debtless.
[ ] fix my damn driveway!!!! though mitzi's idea of us doing it ourselves sounds fun, i was a disbeliever. she claims to have paved a driveway when she was living in Italy, but when i asked her what her plan was, she says "come on!!! how hard is it for us to do it ourselves.) ((( insert one raised eyebrow face here )))
[ ] paint my house. ok, so this i can do myself.
[ ] take more art and design classes. although working at the guild is not so sexy, updating my skills will help me out later on down the line.
[ ] tell my parents not to worry about me anymore. my folks love me but they don't understand why i chose to be an artist and not a nurse. they don't understand why don't like keeping a steady job and they don't recognize my working at home is a full time job. now they can see that i am going to be doing both.
[ ] free movie screenings and industry dinners
but here some things i am not looking forward to:
[-] commitment!!!! fuck man, that means i gotta be some place, at a certain time, for a certain period of time. yea yea, but try working your own schedule and being mobile for a bit. that shit was fun
[-] no more last minute trips
[-] not working for my current boss. shit, he's cool!
[-] disappearing off the face of the earth. with working here, and working at home, and trying to produce and curate shows means "no more casual nights out" for alfie
but i am not complaining. i got certain things to achieve and now i have less worries. just means i have to adjust and as a virgo, i can adapt to any given situation..
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| back to the grind... until next time nyc |
[16 Aug 2006|11:03am] |
eargasm: carmen rizzo : the lost art of the idle moment
eyegasm: the embracing cloudy LA day
sippin': on a cup of coffee made by an officemate
feelin': senses are dull
made it back home yesterday around noon. thank you to vanessa who sponsored the taking to LAX/picking me up from LAX/lending her digital camera segment of the trip.
after a yummy brunch/lunch at nick's coffee shop on pico, i came home and crashed the fuck out. at that point, i had not slept in more than 48 hours and when i saw my bed, i crawled in my bed and slept for a eight or so hours.
when i woke up, we had cable.
cable
cable, as in we have more than two hundred channels.
and a working remote
sweet lord jesus.
i didnt know what to do with myself so i had it stay on VH1 and watched videos.
so no recap on nyc until i get my pictures from bunny. but it is great to be home.
but anytime you walk away from your current perspective in life, go somewhere else for a week, then come back, you can't help but see it as a brand new slate.
so with that...
i promise to: [+] focus more and more on my personal work [+] ride on this wave of inspiration [+] love hard and freely with no fear [+] keep up with my fitness log [+] spend more time with my family [+] keep it focused on what matters [+] cook more and stop eating out so much [+] remind Self that passion is not overrated [+] saving money because saving money is sexier than spending it [+] sign up for boxing class [+] buy my damn bike already [+] learn to say "yes" more [+] learn to say "no"
ok, so, maybe now i should start working. no boss today. just me and my sister. now you understand how hard it is to focus today? hahahahha!
 Yoshitomo Nara Light My Fire Wood, acrylic, cotton, 2001 188 x 73 centimeters
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| 24 hour bugs and pink monsters who give daisies |
[09 Aug 2006|01:13am] |
I probably should go to bed... Or maybe I should continue to pack. But the past 48 hours has been a trip in itself.
Got hit with a 24 hour bug. Fever from 6pm last night to 6pm today. I feel fine now. Just a little run down. But that whole experience was weird.
My new roommate sarah thinks its because my body demanded rest. "you have been running around like crazy lately. Maybe its your body finally giving in."
Whatever it is, I am glad it came and it left. Because I don’t know how I am going to be in a plane with a fever.
So instead, I have Waking Life playing in the background, sipping on some lemonade, and trying to organize the area a bit before I leave.
And one thing I am realizing is how hard it is to keep centered and organized when my life is just a whirlwind of opportunities and experience keeping me off guard and enamored.
But I digress...
Anyways, my kuya and his wife came down for a visit on Sunday. Met up with them for brunch and some how intrigued them to go to venice beach for a walk. I had to walk off the chorizo and egg breakfast I got from CJ's.
Besides, luca from italy personally asked me to take pics of Venice Beach for him. So here you go...
It took us foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to find parking around Venice Beach. I love my area but man, by the time it is the weekend, it is over run by tourists. Now you know why on the weekends, I tend to chill at the house a lot.

That's arndog looking irritated at me...

But we finally found parking in BFE and had a nice walk till we got to the thick of things

And speaking of "thick of things" check out the mannequins and how big the booties are! sweeeet! we are getting some sort of representation out there! (gonna have to tilt your head because I am way too tired to fix it)

"oh look, easy e, bob marley, marvin gaye, hendrix, richard pryor. Damn, someone is capitalizing on the deaths of famous black men. All they need is tupac and biggie..." -I didn't say that,btw...

How fun is this guy's job

Then we came across to this mural that I absolutely loved. How fun is this piece? I recognize one of the artists as chase but I don't know who he collaborated with.




I thought this was a cute pic of them. Hahahha!

But of course if you are going to make people succumb to your picture-taking madness, you should also oblige when the tables are turned

Aaaaah, blowing sea breezes and smog makes boufanty (I don’t know how to spell that word. Just sound it out) hair.
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| wedding story clause |
[07 Aug 2006|12:45pm] |
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so i won't tell you how faith and b's wedding was because a. there is no justice put on how dope it was b. there is not pictures to show any of us getting drunk and c.you don't know them!!! (not that you know any of my ohter friends but they make great picture stories.)
but who you do know is my godson
vanessa and jason had to leave abruptly because malcolm had an accident. ..
from vanessa's email this morning:
while we were at the wedding, my mom and sister gave him a bath and tried to get him ready for bed. as my sister sat with him in the tub, my mom shut off the water and reached for his towel. but malcolm loves the water so much he dove for the spigot and busted his eye on the plunger. there was a cut on the inside of his eyelid and he bled a little bit. my mom freaked out and called the paramedics and had him taken to west hills ER. We met them there and after 2 and a half hours, were told that luckily, he had only cut his eyelid and his eyeball was A-OK. So he's got this killer black eye and some antibiotic eye drops, but he will be fine. Thanks for the calls and concerns!!! he's up and about and ready to put another eye out...
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| i got sunshine...on a cloudy day... |
[07 Aug 2006|12:02pm] |
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it is abnormally (but wonderfully nice) cloudy today in LA. yesterday was gorgeous- bright blue skies, a cool breeze. it was a perfect sunday for brunch at CJ's and a Sunday drive to Venice Beach. (pictures of that coming soon.)
but today, it's cloudy. and i am not one to complain. in fact, i love it. some people don't like grey days. to me, it's embracing. almost like a cool hug from the sky.
and shit, at least it is not like the heat wave we had a few weeks ago. whew...
today is a perfect day to walk over to the 3rd street farmer's market, buy an almond biscotti, some fuji apples, and a latte. or maybe some curry at the malaysian restaurant, the banana leaf. it may not be a sunny hot day where people are looking for a good time, being active, throwing the "energy" around. this is one of those days you breathe in, reflect, and smile, reminding ourselves that life is a beautiful thing, if you let it be.
in the antarctic, its way too cold for water droplets to hang around the air. these pics from yahoo are rare cloud formations in the antartic. normally, clouds water in gas formation condensed, droplets held in the air before it gets too heavy and it rains.
these clouds are formed by crystals of ice being caught and moved by a jet stream in the air and the sunlight in dusk illuminating them. it forms a beautiful mother of pearl-like opulance.

pictures from yahoo.com
i personally like clouds that remind us something bigger...

photographer unknown
speaking of "love written in the sky", faith and b got married this weekend in the beautiful calamigos ranch in malibu. the wedding was so touching, it made cynical bastard phloe cry.

taken from my toy cell phone camera
which i need to replace soon because apparently, my nose disappears when i take pic with it...

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| suicide part 2 |
[04 Aug 2006|10:56am] |

Artist: Les Nubians Album: One Step Forward Title: Amour à mort (Love Died)
T’es prêt à t’priver d’ta vie pour ta diva C’est pas du vent Tu dis « t’aimer m’rend téméraire » Comme c’est divin
On cherche l’amour sans trêve C’est qu’sans amour, on crève
T’échangerais une promesse du paradis contre ma paire d’yeux Regarde-moi de loin Comme si mon garde du corps était Dieu J’t’avais pas vu dans la mire Un pavé dans l’amour Endure tes vers pour entendre les gens dire Qu’tu m’rendras légendaire
On cherche l’amour sans trêve C’est qu’sans amour, on crève
Tu veux partager c’que je suis C’que j’vaux, c’que j’vis C’que j’vois, c’que j’ai vu Et après on verra Si l’amour meurt, alors dis moi c’qu’il reste Des cases vides, des causes injustes Juste des gestes
Tu dis qu’tu tuerais pour moi Trouve une cible émouvante Prouve-moi que tu m’aimes à mort Au moins autant qu’tu t’en vantes
La balle au bout du fusil Le fusil à bout de bras Du braconnier à bout de souffle La balle siffle Un corps s’affale sa vie défile Le bourreau s’tire dans la foule Et moi, émue, je reste couchée
C’est moi qu’il a touché.
so my thoughts to you: you can mourn for a death, but make sure you celebrate a life
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| suicide |
[03 Aug 2006|12:41pm] |
"If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die." Maya Angelou
so my thoughts to you, don't die
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| thought of the moment - the juicy the berry |
[28 Jul 2006|10:49am] |
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miles davis |
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"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary." -Vince Lombardi
so phloe and i were cruising down hollywood blvd, trying to find a place where we can grab a late dinner.
as we were driving, i was talking about how all i can think about is doing something physical. we just came from a night of dancing at the king king club. (well, i was dancing with the crew and she was drinking, taking pictures.) anyways, i thought,"hey, fuck it! we should try to squeeze in at least two nights of dancing. that must count for something! look how drenched my hair is for sweating.)
i mean, you're moving, right? and depending on what club you are at, you work different parts of your body. reggae- you work your thighs more.. salsa- low impact cardio. hip hop- total body conditioning.
but she mentioned about this dude that we see EVERYWHERE in the scene. he's this older guy (in his thirties)who is a bad-ass dancer. when i used to hit the scene hard, i would see him in every venue, tearing it up.
but dude would have a gut still. you would think of all the training that he does, all the dancing that he does, he would be a bit more tighter.
so i kinda got scared.
what if i did all this work for nothing? what if i take all these classes, all these bike rides, all these nights out dancing, and i stay the same?
that would be completely UNFAIR!
i mean, yes, i do see changes in my body and endurance, but what if it stays this way. sure i can be the most fittest thick girl ever but man, part of the whole allure of doing all this is that i get to fit in my thin clothes!
phloe goes: "well, look at Rerun.. yes, mr. fred berry...he was a dancing machine. boy, that man dance is little toosh off. but yet... he remains his size. why? why is that so? and you know what? we probably will never know."
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| i got better things to do than to read poetry from jessica hagedorn |
[24 Jul 2006|03:26pm] |
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sweating non-stop |
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um... no i don't
Sorcery
there are some people i know whose beauty is a crime. who make you so crazy you don't know whether to throw yourself at them or kill them. which makes for permanent madness. which could be bad for you. you better be on the lookout for such circumstances.
stay away from the night. they most likely lurk in the corners of the room where they think they being inconspicuous but they so beautiful an aura gives them away.
stay away form the day. they most likely be walking down the street when you least expect it trying to look ordinary but they so fine they break your heart by making you dream of other possibilities.
stay away from crazy music. they most likely be creating it cuz when you're that beautiful you can't help putting it out there. everyone knows how dangerous that can get.
stay away from magic shows. especially those involving words words are very tricky things. everyone knows words the most common instruments of illusion.
they most likey be saying them. breathing poems so rhythmic you can't help but dance.
and once you start dancing to words you might never stop.

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| oh sweet baby jesus, it's hot |
[24 Jul 2006|03:18pm] |
this is my week to work and i was looking forward to an over-air conditioned office.
and just my luck, the ac on the second floor broke.
suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!
and i think there is a conspiracy.
cuz the third floor and the fourth floor has air conditioning. in fact, its like the artic up there.
and the first floor has their AC blowing out icicles. and good for them, cuz then all the writers and the members of the guild can come to the shnazzy library we have down there and write their sitcoms and screenplays.
the second floor consists of the drone ants.
i just came back from my house. i had to take a shower at my lunch break. i am that hot. and i am about to strip down to my bra soon (my boss and other co-worker left cuz they can't take it.)
but its alot better than my house. i won't complain too much.
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| The things i get myself into |
[23 Jul 2006|11:14am] |
Just came back from the meeting
Oh lord...
Fishnet stockings
Leather whips
And thongs
Black velvet with cinchers
Spike stiletto heels
Men who wink when you meet them
Red walls
And I just signed a contract that I cannot take any pictures.
Wtf??
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| 25 reasons to smile. |
[23 Jul 2006|11:12am] |
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hot |
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music |
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the hum of my fan |
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Again, I am taking zahira's lead and list all the things that I am happy about. Rather than being so focused on trying to pursue things that I think would make me happy, I am going to celebrate the reasons what makes me smile...
Oh and thank you so much for all the supporting emails and comments. Last few days ( as well as the upcoming ones ) were/are hard but I am managing =)
[1] I smile at how flexible my schedule is, allowing me to be productive with every facet and angle of my life.
[2] I smile at how physical activity is reintroduced in my life and how much I looooooove it. It make sense how the mental, the emotional, physical, the metaphysical, and the spiritual is connected.
[3] And I smile how I am surrounded and have access to these channels by the people I am surrounded with: Capoeira with ish...
 Running and boot camp style training with Melinda... Escrima with Guro Dino Yoga with Melissa...
 Freestyle dancing (yep, dancing again...)
[4] babeland.com is having a 20 percent off sale (hehehehehe! ) well.. We were talking about the physical, right?
[5] I smile at the fact that I am supported by friends who would never let me stay down. "Intervention", pep talks, empaths calling, made moments like three nights ago beautiful instead of difficult and hard.
[6] I smile at hearing that my family is doing well and is happy.
[7] I smile that I am meeting more folks who are artists and give constructive criticism, hence giving that help and support that would make our lives better.
[8] I smile that I am hella busy with beautiful things -art shows, performances, being asked to teach a workshop at a conference, curating shows...
[9] ... That I am able to maintain a living for 3.5 years as a fulltime artist.
[10] ...working with other artists who have been living as a fulltime artist for more than 6+ years...
[11] that elikai is turning 1!!!

[12] I smile everytime Malcolm beatboxes or beats a drum
[13] Finding blood relatives on myspace =)
[14] I smile at being able to sell work.
[15] I smile that people refer clients to me.
[16] I smile during restful moments on my couch, watching netflix'ed movies, in comfy clothes.
[17] I smile whenever Miko calls me, and "just to say hello" but she dives fully into the happenings of her life
[18] having sushi with my two favorite tauruses
[19] I smile at the fact that I am fitting into clothes that I have not been able to wear in two years.
[20] I smile during long conversations in bar booths, coffee shops, on the cell phone in traffic, etc.
[21] I sooooo smile that I am so close to the beach.
[22] I smile when the Spirit says to the Ego "See? Now doesn't all this make sense?"
[23] I smile everytime I get carded (hehehhe!)
[24] I smile at the fact that I really will never be "lonely".
[25] I smile that you can find joy in the words "nothing is really permanent."
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| sometimes the universe speaks thru you with barbed wire... |
[12 May 2006|01:35pm] |
again, let me reiterate- i have stopped searching for signs long time ago. sometimes, you find your ego mind wanting to shape anything that "walks like a sign, looks like a sign, talks like a sign". often times, its alot like banging a square peg in a circular hole. bang bang bang... and if you are not careful or mindful, the banging becomes repetitive enough to the point where your mind finds it meditative, but instead, the rhythm keeps you from progressing.
so...
in my many retreats to moonlit beaches, where the crashing of waves centers me again, i found an epiphany..
by chainlinked fences topped with barbed wire, was tissue paper, flapping in the wind.
and what was once just viewed to wipe away spills and messes, was now a flag dancing in the wind. rustling as it mimics the sound of a thousand rustling leaves.
but then as i sat and looked, the edges started to fray. bits of paper started tearing off and run in the currents of the wind. within a few minutes, the paper disappeared, destroyed.
so, it came to me.
that if the barbed wire had the ability of letting go the paper would still be intact.
bare with me now...
because often times, i hold onto things that was meant to move with the wind. fragile things. and maybe holding on to it is the very act of destroying it.
now maybe it was the paper that held on. if the paper had the ability to let go, it would still be intact.
because often times, i stay in situations that i dont need to be in. i don't let go and i am left "fighting the air". maybe i don't want change. maybe i hold on to ideologies that are not meant for me and its destroying me and where i need to go.
let God, let love, let go. because as much control you have over your actions and decisions, you can't master things externally. and sometimes, you just gotta let things be, so that things are to develop how they most naturally would need to develop...
let God, let love, let go...
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| sometimes the universe speak thru the words of your friends... |
[12 May 2006|01:33pm] |
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this morning, joe daddy was moved to send me this:
i'm wishing you the best of days, come what may, and i pray today displays all you want, all you need, and that you're not to scared to heed the call of your destiny.....
every morning, as i sip my first cup of coffee, in the sound vibrations of the birds who live in my giant totoro tree, i read on a prayer flag, a gift from another dear friend...
the universe holds an abundance to what i need in my life...
and a text from another kindred soul not too long ago:
Sending a message for the universe: u have an infinite gift for life. You are one of my treasures. Have joy love & powerful spirit. I will always remind you this.
i gave up searching for signs long time ago. but some things are blatant. some you can't ignore. and really, all you can really do is be open to messages of faith, determination, and affirmation. its too easy to hear the criticism from others and in your head.
random acts of kindness... i probably should do more of that myself.
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| Bringing it home |
[01 Feb 2006|09:22am] |
My current obsession is interior decorating and design. I am all about reclaiming spaces and pieces to fit my life and my expression. In the attempts of making my home more of a reflection of me and not of my former art student self, I have been diving into books, programs, and magazines in dealing with home/design magazines.
But, I am not a "better homes and gardens" kind of girl. No, you can keep your issues because its too traditional, too conservative.
 But then I came across domino magazine, and I am hooked! from the makers of lucky magazine, a magazine that creatively challenges you to find your own style. And it is a magazine based on shopping, so it straight up tells you what is out there, where you can get it and caters to all budgets.
 Pop life magazine is another magazine I fell in love with. I believe they are affiliated with metro pop magazine featuring street and urban couture. The best way in describing this magazine is home fashion.
And it all started with my crush on ty

Whatever...
Shut up...
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| maybe you knew |
[31 Jan 2006|02:19am] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
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maybe you knew... maybe you knew, despite of the many whistles and yellow lights flashing from the game you were playing
maybe you knew and that is why on this day the eve of the eve of a new month you decided to run for three miles straight because something is set in motion
Or maybe it was your mother who knew and that is why she asked you to stay just one more night leaving you in the very space you know will stay constant
because things are about to change course
and you realize that even at the shortest distance a 700 hundred mile situation is still 700 miles too long and 2 hours too short to come with a deep connection
its gets harder to breathe but you stay centered
after all, you are of the earth you embrace yourself at the equator and stand solid no matter what the currents bring in or take away
you close your eyes and you revisit streetlight lit walks to where Hope Blvd and Faith Avenue intersected
moonlit picnics where skyscapers huddled together were canyons and kids with jersey accents echoed thru the valley and we salsa-ed to their banter
where protected grassy meadows cradled three hour conversations and whisper winds whipped thru 20 dollar calling cards
fast forward towhere blue seas and black sand lands met and waves caused friction between bellies filled with sighs in different dialects filtered thru pina coladas... or was it rum and coke?
where it always seemed 7:34am
and pockets vibrate when each focused thought was made or at least until the second week of january when the contract ran out
you close your eyes because you knew that when you open them something was... and is set in motion
and you look forward straight ahead
the most remarkable thing you noticed is that before you even hung up the phone you have freestyled a poem for the first time in two years
but this is not a poem you share in a dimly lit cafe melodic testimonials fluttering past caffeniated glassed over eyes hoping to get caught by a third one
no... this one you release simply by opening up both your hands
and letting go...
palms towards the sky, you find yourself in prime position to give thanks
and move on...
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