melanin monroe

the treachery of images

2006-12-29T08:09:34Z

I met up with teresa, martha, and rachel at LACMA to check out the Magritte show titled "The Treachery of Images." if you have a chance, you must see it. I loooooved it. It was a comprehensive show, featuring an extensive collection of his work. Also featured in the show are contemporary artists whose works are influenced by Magritte. But you have to see the installation of the show. As a curator and one who installs shows, I really appreciate the effort put into this show. It was too much for me in one day so I intend to roll through one more time, this time, doing the audio tour.

Sorry for the momentary art geek talk. But shit was dope (did I redeem myself for cussing?)

After the show, and after soy chai lattes, I said goodbye to the girls and headed out to Chinatown for soulpeople's "Holiday Fresh"

Carlie hooked me up with this gig

Jason yap (Remy's on Temple Art Gallery), Sarah (roommate extraordinaire) and moi. Sarah helped lay color on the wood, preparing it for mark canto.

Apparently he is a recent graduate of the handsome boy modeling school

pylet7 came out to play too!

Ralph from Rime Magazine

Could never take good crowd pics with a point and shoot. I need to read the manual.

whoa...

2006-12-20T19:36:46Z

i forgot i had this.

camel spiders

2006-09-14T21:17:29Z

my bosses took me and the other new guy in the department out for lunch.

so as we were chillin' at the cheesecake factory, we started talking about everything and anything. i mean, what is appropriate meal talks with your supervisors?

camel spiders

so doug brought up about these huge ass anthropods that live in regions like iraq. they are called camel spiders. they eat lizards. EAT THEM! not like spin a web and suck the blood, but chomp the heads off of them.

they shouldn't be called "camel spiders." they make them sounds like cute little spiders with humps. no they should be called "shit fuck shit fuck muthafuckin shit" spiders. that name is more appropriate.

so,i got the job...

2006-08-18T19:41:56Z

entered maureen's office, greeted by two more supervisors, and they offered me the job.

so i am full time at the writers guild. which means, i am double-employed.

and the double income would allow me to:

[ ] have health insurance. now i can rough house as much as i want. that skateboard i tucked in the corner of my back room is now coming out. (last time i rode it, i fell on my side and hurt my wrist. i had no insurance so i had to risk healing an broken wrist.) and i can finally get a full physical since i am training!

[ ] continue shopping for a car. although i am not too crazy on payments. but i should be okay. i paid a credit card off and i am debtless.

[ ] fix my damn driveway!!!! though mitzi's idea of us doing it ourselves sounds fun, i was a disbeliever. she claims to have paved a driveway when she was living in Italy, but when i asked her what her plan was, she says "come on!!! how hard is it for us to do it ourselves.) ((( insert one raised eyebrow face here )))

[ ] paint my house. ok, so this i can do myself.

[ ] take more art and design classes. although working at the guild is not so sexy, updating my skills will help me out later on down the line.

[ ] tell my parents not to worry about me anymore. my folks love me but they don't understand why i chose to be an artist and not a nurse. they don't understand why don't like keeping a steady job and they don't recognize my working at home is a full time job. now they can see that i am going to be doing both.

[ ] free movie screenings and industry dinners

but here some things i am not looking forward to:

[-] commitment!!!! fuck man, that means i gotta be some place, at a certain time, for a certain period of time. yea yea, but try working your own schedule and being mobile for a bit. that shit was fun

[-] no more last minute trips

[-] not working for my current boss. shit, he's cool!

[-] disappearing off the face of the earth. with working here, and working at home, and trying to produce and curate shows means "no more casual nights out" for alfie

but i am not complaining. i got certain things to achieve and now i have less worries. just means i have to adjust and as a virgo, i can adapt to any given situation..

back to the grind... until next time nyc

2006-08-16T18:02:10Z

eargasm: carmen rizzo : the lost art of the idle moment

eyegasm: the embracing cloudy LA day

sippin': on a cup of coffee made by an officemate

feelin': senses are dull

made it back home yesterday around noon. thank you to vanessa who sponsored the taking to LAX/picking me up from LAX/lending her digital camera segment of the trip.

after a yummy brunch/lunch at nick's coffee shop on pico, i came home and crashed the fuck out. at that point, i had not slept in more than 48 hours and when i saw my bed, i crawled in my bed and slept for a eight or so hours.

when i woke up, we had cable.

cable

cable, as in we have more than two hundred channels.

and a working remote

sweet lord jesus.

i didnt know what to do with myself so i had it stay on VH1 and watched videos.

so no recap on nyc until i get my pictures from bunny. but it is great to be home.

but anytime you walk away from your current perspective in life, go somewhere else for a week, then come back, you can't help but see it as a brand new slate.

so with that...

i promise to:
[+] focus more and more on my personal work
[+] ride on this wave of inspiration
[+] love hard and freely with no fear
[+] keep up with my fitness log
[+] spend more time with my family
[+] keep it focused on what matters
[+] cook more and stop eating out so much
[+] remind Self that passion is not overrated
[+] saving money because saving money is sexier than spending it
[+] sign up for boxing class
[+] buy my damn bike already
[+] learn to say "yes" more
[+] learn to say "no"

ok, so, maybe now i should start working. no boss today. just me and my sister. now you understand how hard it is to focus today? hahahahha!

Yoshitomo Nara
Light My Fire
Wood, acrylic, cotton, 2001
188 x 73 centimeters

24 hour bugs and pink monsters who give daisies

2006-08-09T08:12:10Z

I probably should go to bed... Or maybe I should continue to pack. But the past 48 hours has been a trip in itself.

Got hit with a 24 hour bug. Fever from 6pm last night to 6pm today. I feel fine now. Just a little run down. But that whole experience was weird.

My new roommate sarah thinks its because my body demanded rest. "you have been running around like crazy lately. Maybe its your body finally giving in."

Whatever it is, I am glad it came and it left. Because I don’t know how I am going to be in a plane with a fever.

So instead, I have Waking Life playing in the background, sipping on some lemonade, and trying to organize the area a bit before I leave.

And one thing I am realizing is how hard it is to keep centered and organized when my life is just a whirlwind of opportunities and experience keeping me off guard and enamored.

But I digress...

Anyways, my kuya and his wife came down for a visit on Sunday. Met up with them for brunch and some how intrigued them to go to venice beach for a walk. I had to walk off the chorizo and egg breakfast I got from CJ's.

Besides, luca from italy personally asked me to take pics of Venice Beach for him. So here you go...

It took us foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to find parking around Venice Beach. I love my area but man, by the time it is the weekend, it is over run by tourists. Now you know why on the weekends, I tend to chill at the house a lot.

That's arndog looking irritated at me...

But we finally found parking in BFE and had a nice walk till we got to the thick of things

And speaking of "thick of things" check out the mannequins and how big the booties are! sweeeet! we are getting some sort of representation out there! (gonna have to tilt your head because I am way too tired to fix it)

"oh look, easy e, bob marley, marvin gaye, hendrix, richard pryor. Damn, someone is capitalizing on the deaths of famous black men. All they need is tupac and biggie..." -I didn't say that,btw...

How fun is this guy's job

Then we came across to this mural that I absolutely loved. How fun is this piece? I recognize one of the artists as chase but I don't know who he collaborated with.

I thought this was a cute pic of them. Hahahha!

But of course if you are going to make people succumb to your picture-taking madness, you should also oblige when the tables are turned

Aaaaah, blowing sea breezes and smog makes boufanty (I don’t know how to spell that word. Just sound it out) hair.

wedding story clause

2006-08-07T19:45:55Z

so i won't tell you how faith and b's wedding was because a. there is no justice put on how dope it was b. there is not pictures to show any of us getting drunk and c.you don't know them!!! (not that you know any of my ohter friends but they make great picture stories.)

but who you do know is my godson

vanessa and jason had to leave abruptly because malcolm had an accident. ..

from vanessa's email this morning:

while we were at the wedding, my mom and sister gave him a bath and tried to get him ready for bed. as my sister sat with him in the tub, my mom shut off the water and reached for his towel. but malcolm loves the water so much he dove for the spigot and busted his eye on the plunger. there was a cut on the inside of his eyelid and he bled a little bit. my mom freaked out and called the paramedics and had him taken to west hills ER. We met them there and after 2 and a half hours, were told that luckily, he had only cut his eyelid and his eyeball was A-OK. So he's got this killer black eye and some antibiotic eye drops, but he will be fine. Thanks for the calls and concerns!!! he's up and about and ready to put another eye out...

i got sunshine...on a cloudy day...

2006-08-07T19:02:30Z

it is abnormally (but wonderfully nice) cloudy today in LA. yesterday was gorgeous- bright blue skies, a cool breeze. it was a perfect sunday for brunch at CJ's and a Sunday drive to Venice Beach. (pictures of that coming soon.)

but today, it's cloudy. and i am not one to complain. in fact, i love it. some people don't like grey days. to me, it's embracing. almost like a cool hug from the sky.

and shit, at least it is not like the heat wave we had a few weeks ago. whew...

today is a perfect day to walk over to the 3rd street farmer's market, buy an almond biscotti, some fuji apples, and a latte. or maybe some curry at the malaysian restaurant, the banana leaf. it may not be a sunny hot day where people are looking for a good time, being active, throwing the "energy" around. this is one of those days you breathe in, reflect, and smile, reminding ourselves that life is a beautiful thing, if you let it be.

in the antarctic, its way too cold for water droplets to hang around the air. these pics from yahoo are rare cloud formations in the antartic. normally, clouds water in gas formation condensed, droplets held in the air before it gets too heavy and it rains.

these clouds are formed by crystals of ice being caught and moved by a jet stream in the air and the sunlight in dusk illuminating them. it forms a beautiful mother of pearl-like opulance.

pictures from yahoo.com

i personally like clouds that remind us something bigger...

photographer unknown

speaking of "love written in the sky", faith and b got married this weekend in the beautiful calamigos ranch in malibu. the wedding was so touching, it made cynical bastard phloe cry.

taken from my toy cell phone camera

which i need to replace soon because apparently, my nose disappears when i take pic with it...

suicide part 2

2006-08-04T17:58:15Z

Artist: Les Nubians
Album: One Step Forward
Title: Amour à mort (Love Died)

T’es prêt à t’priver d’ta vie pour ta diva
C’est pas du vent
Tu dis « t’aimer m’rend téméraire »
Comme c’est divin

On cherche l’amour sans trêve
C’est qu’sans amour, on crève

T’échangerais une promesse du paradis
contre ma paire d’yeux
Regarde-moi de loin
Comme si mon garde du corps était Dieu
J’t’avais pas vu dans la mire
Un pavé dans l’amour
Endure tes vers pour entendre les gens dire
Qu’tu m’rendras légendaire

On cherche l’amour sans trêve
C’est qu’sans amour, on crève

Tu veux partager c’que je suis
C’que j’vaux, c’que j’vis
C’que j’vois, c’que j’ai vu
Et après on verra
Si l’amour meurt, alors dis moi c’qu’il reste
Des cases vides, des causes injustes
Juste des gestes

Tu dis qu’tu tuerais pour moi
Trouve une cible émouvante
Prouve-moi que tu m’aimes à mort
Au moins autant qu’tu t’en vantes

La balle au bout du fusil
Le fusil à bout de bras
Du braconnier à bout de souffle
La balle siffle
Un corps s’affale sa vie défile
Le bourreau s’tire dans la foule
Et moi, émue, je reste couchée

C’est moi qu’il a touché.

so my thoughts to you: you can mourn for a death, but make sure you celebrate a life

suicide

2006-08-03T19:42:21Z

"If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die."
Maya Angelou

so my thoughts to you, don't die

thought of the moment - the juicy the berry

2006-07-28T17:50:21Z

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
-Vince Lombardi

so phloe and i were cruising down hollywood blvd, trying to find a place where we can grab a late dinner.

as we were driving, i was talking about how all i can think about is doing something physical. we just came from a night of dancing at the king king club. (well, i was dancing with the crew and she was drinking, taking pictures.) anyways, i thought,"hey, fuck it! we should try to squeeze in at least two nights of dancing. that must count for something! look how drenched my hair is for sweating.)

i mean, you're moving, right? and depending on what club you are at, you work different parts of your body. reggae- you work your thighs more.. salsa- low impact cardio. hip hop- total body conditioning.

but she mentioned about this dude that we see EVERYWHERE in the scene. he's this older guy (in his thirties)who is a bad-ass dancer. when i used to hit the scene hard, i would see him in every venue, tearing it up.

but dude would have a gut still. you would think of all the training that he does, all the dancing that he does, he would be a bit more tighter.

so i kinda got scared.

what if i did all this work for nothing? what if i take all these classes, all these bike rides, all these nights out dancing, and i stay the same?

that would be completely UNFAIR!

i mean, yes, i do see changes in my body and endurance, but what if it stays this way. sure i can be the most fittest thick girl ever but man, part of the whole allure of doing all this is that i get to fit in my thin clothes!

phloe goes:
"well, look at Rerun.. yes, mr. fred berry...he was a dancing machine. boy, that man dance is little toosh off. but yet... he remains his size. why? why is that so? and you know what? we probably will never know."

i got better things to do than to read poetry from jessica hagedorn

2006-07-24T22:26:59Z

um... no i don't

Sorcery

there are some people i know
whose beauty
is a crime.
who make you so crazy
you don't know
whether to throw yourself
at them
or kill them.
which makes
for permanent madness.
which could be
bad for you.
you better be on the lookout
for such circumstances.

stay away
from the night.
they most likely lurk
in the corners of the room
where they think
they being inconspicuous
but they so beautiful
an aura
gives them away.

stay away
form the day.
they most likely
be walking
down the street
when you least
expect it
trying to look
ordinary
but they so fine
they break your heart
by making you dream
of other possibilities.

stay away
from crazy music.
they most likely
be creating it
cuz
when you're that beautiful
you can't help
putting it out there.
everyone knows
how dangerous
that can get.

stay away
from magic shows.
especially those
involving words
words are very
tricky things.
everyone knows
words
the most common
instruments of
illusion.

they most likey
be saying them.
breathing poems
so rhythmic
you can't help
but dance.

and once
you start dancing
to words
you might never
stop.

oh sweet baby jesus, it's hot

2006-07-24T22:19:01Z

this is my week to work and i was looking forward to an over-air conditioned office.

and just my luck, the ac on the second floor broke.

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!

and i think there is a conspiracy.

cuz the third floor and the fourth floor has air conditioning. in fact, its like the artic up there.

and the first floor has their AC blowing out icicles. and good for them, cuz then all the writers and the members of the guild can come to the shnazzy library we have down there and write their sitcoms and screenplays.

the second floor consists of the drone ants.

i just came back from my house. i had to take a shower at my lunch break. i am that hot. and i am about to strip down to my bra soon (my boss and other co-worker left cuz they can't take it.)

but its alot better than my house. i won't complain too much.

The things i get myself into

2006-07-24T06:12:15Z

Just came back from the meeting

Oh lord...

Fishnet stockings

Leather whips

And thongs

Black velvet with cinchers

Spike stiletto heels

Men who wink when you meet them

Red walls

And I just signed a contract that I cannot take any pictures.

Wtf??

25 reasons to smile.

2006-07-24T06:11:08Z

Again, I am taking zahira's lead and list all the things that I am happy about. Rather than being so focused on trying to pursue things that I think would make me happy, I am going to celebrate the reasons what makes me smile...

Oh and thank you so much for all the supporting emails and comments. Last few days ( as well as the upcoming ones ) were/are hard but I am managing =)

[1] I smile at how flexible my schedule is, allowing me to be productive with every facet and angle of my life.

[2] I smile at how physical activity is reintroduced in my life and how much I looooooove it. It make sense how the mental, the emotional, physical, the metaphysical, and the spiritual is connected.

[3] And I smile how I am surrounded and have access to these channels by the people I am surrounded with:
Capoeira with ish...

Running and boot camp style training with Melinda...
Escrima with Guro Dino
Yoga with Melissa...

Freestyle dancing (yep, dancing again...)

[4] babeland.com is having a 20 percent off sale (hehehehehe! ) well.. We were talking about the physical, right?

[5] I smile at the fact that I am supported by friends who would never let me stay down. "Intervention", pep talks, empaths calling, made moments like three nights ago beautiful instead of difficult and hard.

[6] I smile at hearing that my family is doing well and is happy.

[7] I smile that I am meeting more folks who are artists and give constructive criticism, hence giving that help and support that would make our lives better.

[8] I smile that I am hella busy with beautiful things -art shows, performances, being asked to teach a workshop at a conference, curating shows...

[9] ... That I am able to maintain a living for 3.5 years as a fulltime artist.

[10] ...working with other artists who have been living as a fulltime artist for more than 6+ years...

[11] that elikai is turning 1!!!

[12] I smile everytime Malcolm beatboxes or beats a drum

[13] Finding blood relatives on myspace =)

[14] I smile at being able to sell work.

[15] I smile that people refer clients to me.

[16] I smile during restful moments on my couch, watching netflix'ed movies, in comfy clothes.

[17] I smile whenever Miko calls me, and "just to say hello" but she dives fully into the happenings of her life

[18] having sushi with my two favorite tauruses

[19] I smile at the fact that I am fitting into clothes that I have not been able to wear in two years.

[20] I smile during long conversations in bar booths, coffee shops, on the cell phone in traffic, etc.

[21] I sooooo smile that I am so close to the beach.

[22] I smile when the Spirit says to the Ego "See? Now doesn't all this make sense?"

[23] I smile everytime I get carded (hehehhe!)

[24] I smile at the fact that I really will never be "lonely".

[25] I smile that you can find joy in the words "nothing is really permanent."

sometimes the universe speaks thru you with barbed wire...

2006-05-12T20:35:54Z

again, let me reiterate- i have stopped searching for signs long time ago. sometimes, you find your ego mind wanting to shape anything that "walks like a sign, looks like a sign, talks like a sign". often times, its alot like banging a square peg in a circular hole. bang bang bang... and if you are not careful or mindful, the banging becomes repetitive enough to the point where your mind finds it meditative, but instead, the rhythm keeps you from progressing.

so...

in my many retreats to moonlit beaches, where the crashing of waves centers me again, i found an epiphany..

by chainlinked fences topped with barbed wire, was tissue paper, flapping in the wind.

and what was once just viewed to wipe away spills and messes, was now a flag dancing in the wind. rustling as it mimics the sound of a thousand rustling leaves.

but then as i sat and looked, the edges started to fray. bits of paper started tearing off and run in the currents of the wind. within a few minutes, the paper disappeared, destroyed.

so, it came to me.

that if the barbed wire had the ability of letting go the paper would still be intact.

bare with me now...

because often times, i hold onto things that was meant to move with the wind. fragile things. and maybe holding on to it is the very act of destroying it.

now maybe it was the paper that held on. if the paper had the ability to let go, it would still be intact.

because often times, i stay in situations that i dont need to be in. i don't let go and i am left "fighting the air". maybe i don't want change. maybe i hold on to ideologies that are not meant for me and its destroying me and where i need to go.

let God, let love, let go. because as much control you have over your actions and decisions, you can't master things externally. and sometimes, you just gotta let things be, so that things are to develop how they most naturally would need to develop...

let God, let love, let go...

sometimes the universe speak thru the words of your friends...

2006-05-12T20:34:54Z

this morning, joe daddy was moved to send me this:

i'm wishing you the best of days,
come what may,
and i pray today displays
all you want, all you need,
and that you're not to scared to heed
the call of your destiny.....

every morning, as i sip my first cup of coffee, in the sound vibrations of the birds who live in my giant totoro tree, i read on a prayer flag, a gift from another dear friend...

the universe holds an abundance to what i need in my life...

and a text from another kindred soul not too long ago:

Sending a message for the universe: u have an infinite gift for life. You are one of my treasures. Have joy love & powerful spirit. I will always remind you this.

i gave up searching for signs long time ago. but some things are blatant. some you can't ignore. and really, all you can really do is be open to messages of faith, determination, and affirmation. its too easy to hear the criticism from others and in your head.

random acts of kindness... i probably should do more of that myself.

Meet my newest muse

2006-02-06T22:58:46Z

The Bleeding Heart Dove

Native to the Philippine Islands

Oh its on... I got mad sketches in dealing with this little guy...

Colors a less saturated but you get the gist.

Conservation status: Mindanao bleeding heart dove is Endangered; the Luzon bleeding heart dove is near threatened.

Bringing it home

2006-02-01T17:30:14Z

My current obsession is interior decorating and design. I am all about reclaiming spaces and pieces to fit my life and my expression. In the attempts of making my home more of a reflection of me and not of my former art student self, I have been diving into books, programs, and magazines in dealing with home/design magazines.

But, I am not a "better homes and gardens" kind of girl. No, you can keep your issues because its too traditional, too conservative.

But then I came across domino magazine, and I am hooked! from the makers of lucky magazine, a magazine that creatively challenges you to find your own style. And it is a magazine based on shopping, so it straight up tells you what is out there, where you can get it and caters to all budgets.

Pop life magazine is another magazine I fell in love with. I believe they are affiliated with metro pop magazine featuring street and urban couture. The best way in describing this magazine is home fashion.

And it all started with my crush on ty

Whatever...

Shut up...

maybe you knew

2006-01-31T10:20:23Z

maybe you knew...
maybe you knew,
despite of the many whistles and
yellow lights flashing
from the game you were playing

maybe you knew
and that is why on this day
the eve of the eve of a new month
you decided to run for three miles straight
because something is set in motion

Or maybe it was your mother who knew
and that is why she asked you to stay just one more night
leaving you in the very space you know will stay constant

because things are about to change course

and you realize that even at the shortest distance
a 700 hundred mile situation is still 700 miles too long
and 2 hours too short to come with a deep connection

its gets harder to breathe
but you stay centered

after all, you are of the earth
you embrace yourself at the equator
and stand solid
no matter what the currents bring in
or take away

you close your eyes
and you revisit streetlight lit walks
to where Hope Blvd and Faith Avenue intersected

moonlit picnics where skyscapers huddled together were canyons
and kids with jersey accents echoed thru the valley
and we salsa-ed to their banter

where protected grassy meadows cradled three hour conversations
and whisper winds whipped thru 20 dollar calling cards

fast forward towhere blue seas and black sand lands met
and
waves caused friction between bellies filled with sighs in different dialects
filtered thru pina coladas... or was it rum and coke?

where it always seemed 7:34am

and pockets vibrate when each focused thought was made
or at least until the second week of january
when the contract ran out

you close your eyes
because you knew
that when you open them
something was... and is
set in motion

and you look forward
straight ahead

the most remarkable thing you noticed
is that before you even hung up the phone
you have freestyled a poem
for the first time in two years

but this is not a poem you share in a dimly lit cafe
melodic testimonials fluttering past caffeniated glassed over eyes
hoping to get caught by a third one

no... this one you release simply
by opening up both your hands

and letting go...

palms towards the sky,
you find yourself in prime position
to give thanks

and move on...

bigger balls= smaller brains

2006-01-26T22:11:14Z

oh, miss mags

friend: in today's headlines: "big balls=smaller brains"
friend: http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2006-01-24-batbrains_x.htm
me: hahhah, let me see
me: hahahah oh my god
friend: my fav line:
friend: "The male who ejaculates the greatest number of sperm wins the game, and hence many bats have evolved outrageously big testes."
me: that explains alot assuming if it is the same for humans
friend: and this:
friend: "The study found that in more monogamous species, the average male brain size was about 2.6% of body weight, while in promiscuous species, the average size dipped to 1.9%."
friend: NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD!

coccoon stage 1: book whore

2006-01-26T21:10:24Z

I haven't been creating much lately. well i have but i am not ready to show them all. i have been coccooning again. started with organizing my house, now purging any doubt. and now just coccooning and enjoying art around me. i have been reading, writing,going to shows and exhibits, and watching mad movies. sometimes, its just fun to let go of your own process and enjoy others. just be totally engrossed into a whole other world than to be consumed by mine.

The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver

This is a story about a young 20-something woman named taylor breaking out on her own for the first time. she packed up her '55 bug and headed west from her rural kentucky city. her car breaks down in cherokee land where a mysterious native woman gives her a young child. before she can even protest, the woman leaves, leaving taylor to be an instant mother to a quiet, shell-shocked three year old. Taylor later finds out that this child was abused and the rest of the story is about her learning not only to how to come to her own life, but how to be a caretaker for another. themes covered in this book are race issues, women empowerment, abuse, and immigration.

i enjoyed this book. the narration of the book is true to the character's own personality. you immediately connect with the characters to the story from the first paragraph.

i am not going to lie. this is a chic book.

3.5/5 stars

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

after her nanny insulted three of the biggest racist men in town, Lily,
a 14-year old girl helps rosaleen escape before the fuckers return to
kill her. the story takes place in the 60's in another rural town in america.
lily is also running away from verbally abusive and cold father in search
of uncovering the truth of her mother, who died when she was four. their
journey leads them to last known town where her mother went right before
she died. themes covered in this book are racism, grief, and the power of women
nurturing each other in a collective manner.

dope ass book. hella witty with entertwining bee keeping facts with the story, an on-going metaphor.

4/5 stars

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo

24 year old veronika decides to die. she isn't in pain, nor too depressed, but she certainly not happy nor is she inspired. her life was just painfully boring and she doesn't seem to have any purpose in life. so she took pills. only she survives,finds herself in a mental hospital. but because of the failed suicide, she fucks up her heart and now she only has a few days to live. imagine what goes thru your head when now you are not in control of your death but time is. themes in this book are finding purpose in life, what makes life bitter, and "waking up"

i am a huge fan of coehlo's "the alchemist" so i was pretty stoked in starting this book. coehlo has this way of having the reader question aspects in their own lives. while "the alchemist" covers destiny in life, this books covers the choice of living and dying, and "dying" while alive.

4/5 stars

my bad for the informal and lazy book reports. i know i can get carried away in my own analysis of a book and i didnt want to do it here. right now i am reading eleven minutes by paulo coehlo. it starts off "once upon a time, there was a prostitute named maria...".... yep...

WTF of the day...

2006-01-26T00:29:47Z

my dad is visiting the philippines for a month.

he called my sister and told her that he "is crowning the first princess and my dad is going to be on tv.'

WTF????????

maybe its a beauty pageant.

they asked him to do a speech but he didn't want to.

so opposite than me. i talk alot, even more so if you give me a mic.

maybe he is living a secret life over there...

So not cool...

2006-01-25T21:02:03Z

So not cool...

Never mind the fact that I don't own cable and I watch network television- lost,desperate housewives, grey's anatomy.I got netflix so its a good balance.

And never mind the fact that I still drive a 1994 honda civic. It still runs well and I get good milage on it.

But damn those apple people for making their ipod headphones white. Why? Because my grey headphones are a true indicator that I donâ��t own an ipod. I donâ��t have white cords streaming down from my ears to my nano connected to my arm. My sony headphones tell people that I am still in the prehistoric realms of digiland, still fumbling to open cd cases. Still carrying a shit load of discs equal to the weight of a new born baby.

It boils down to status. "you don't have one.. But IIIIIII have one." I am a hella down ass roll dog for mac. Been down for macs since college. And this is what they are telling me."then catch up,if you are so down with us. See, pc heads are down with us. What about you?"

Damn...

When I get one, Imma get a black one. Just because.

But I don't see black headphones... Damn.

Whatever.. Wear your white headphones like you wear your nike logos, your fake louis vuittons, and your ugg boots.

I'm plotting, peoples. Plotting....

what the pho?

2006-01-22T20:42:20Z

I am slowly waking up. Slowly trying to rub the disorientation from my eyes. Last night, I had pho and vietnamese iced coffee last night. The liquid crack kept me up way into the morning. 5am that is.

And here I am, trying yet AGAIN, to design these logos. I am fixed on the idea of not leaving the house until I get my rough draft sketches done. I played hookie for the last few days and now my liver is acting up. And anybody who knows me knows that my liver is my indicator of anxiety. Most people have an inner whisper that tells them to do the right thing. I tend to forego on the whisper which leads to my inner yell, which happens to be my liver.

There is no scientific explanation here. Its just that my gut feels toxic. Its beyond "what I ate last night." it's intuitive.

Just watched the end of the philadelphia/minnesota game. Scored tied, end of the fourth quarter. Ten seconds to go. Iguodala gets the ball. It leaves his hands on the last second, making the winning shot at .2 seconds. 86 to 84, philadelphia wins. DESPITE of the 15 point deficit.

That is what I am saying. Coming up from being behind. My last post, I had said "broke as fuck but rich in life." I know what it is like to just earn a paycheck. And I learned what it is like to live my life with passion. These lessons come in an exact order.

1. Learn what it is like to pay dues and be hungry.
2. Learn what it is like to earn a paycheck, be rich, and feel empty.
3. Learn what it is like to break the sociall-accepted rules and live a life feeling full but starting over.
4. Learn what it is like to pay dues, be hungry, but life a life feeling full.
5. Learn how to earn a paycheck, be rich, and feeling full by breaking social-accepted rules.

2 years ago, I was at a 15 point deficit.. Now I am at 5 points deficit. Not too shabby.